The Last Time
by Stardust Terrastar
Summary: She tried talking to him at that one last time but... - One sided Mikan X Natsume


**It was the time they dance. The time when they have to see each other, after all, this may be the last time they may see each other.**

He'd go to the States first thing tomorrow and she'll be sent to France the day after he go. Of course he won't know where she'll go, as no one will.

No one will. Or at least, she hopes so.

She hates herself for being a coward, for being pathetic, and for being a liar. But this is something that can remove the pain. The pain that she continues to suffer up until this day, from the moment her mother died...no...correction, it was from the very moment she laid eyes on reality,the time when she learned that her parents were dead from her grandpa when she was but a mere child.

Yeah, but the worst pain she felt is in this very school. Every pain she suffers is because of this school. Losing a parent, having to watch your friend die for you, and your beloved...

No, it was too much.

"Ne, Hotaru, let's dance," Mikan smiled at her indifferent best friend genuinely. Hotaru, however, was surprised to hear this, or even see her best friend in this place.

Because it wasn't like Mikan to come into parties, or places with a lot of people to even begin it with. Because Mikan, Mikan changed. She didn't know why, pr at least she hopes she didn't know why but Mikan started to part ways, to isolate herself, to disappear.

If she could even recall it, she never saw her best friend for a whole month, and the time when she last saw her was but a mere glimpse in one of her robot's recordings.

"Sure," Hotaru said, a hint of hesitance in her voice. She felt Mikan's hand touched her pale skin and felt how cold it was, and she finally saw how changed Mikan came to be.

She wasn't as rosy before, she was pale, even paler than the inventor herself. She wasn't chubby anymore, all hint of baby fat disappearing from her face, and instead, she became a lot thinner. Skinny.

And her hair, she cut it in a way that it matched her hair style when she was Elementary.

Mikan also analyzed Hotaru, she was taller, even taller than the Nullification Alice, her hair is longer and her face wasn't pale but os silky white. Her hands were smooth unlike when they were younger. And she was gorgeous. Mukan silently envied her best friend...if she even deserved to call her as such.

"I missed you Hotaru," Mikan said as they twirled silently in the dance floor, clutching Hotaru's hand gently.

Hotaru didn't knew how to respond to her...friend. She didn't Even knew if she can. She was taken by surprise. Who knew that she'll be here? And who knew Mikan would be the one to initiate this?

"Hey, relax," Mikan whispered, her voice kind and soft. But somehow. Hotaru can feel how broken her old friend was.

"How can I if you, yourself, is as stiff as a statue," Hotaru retorted icily, earning her a laugh from her best friend. It was a different laugh, however. It was bitter, lifeless and it wasn't contagious anymore. It didn't bear the light it once had, it was...dead.

"Well, I never did danced for a long time, so it was awkward for me, anyways, as I said, I missed you," Mikan whispered as she stared at the purple eyes of her best friend. Hotaru can see it, Mikan was broken, or at least, to the point that her eyes can suck you in and that you can't help but feel her pain.

"Why are you doing this?" Hotaru can't help but ask. Ever since Mikan withdrew herself away from their circle of friends, Hotaru can never decipher her friend, what she's going into, or whatever it is happening to her. She became someone who became nothing but a stranger.

Besides, it was Mikan who left, they tried whatever it is to get her, but she was elusive, she always managed to get away to the point that even her, gave up.

"Because..." Mikan paused. Why was she doing this again? Won't this make her

more pathetic than she already is? Won't this bring more pain to her? She can't really understand why she's being too masochistic and cruel to herself but somehow, she had this urge to attend this party, the last party she' ll see before she fly off somewhere where no one knows her and where she can renew her life.

Besides, this was their graduation party. The last night they stay in the school before they spread out around the world.

Based on the rumors that reached her, Hotaru will also go to the States, this didn't surprised Mikan at all, while Ruka Nogi, one of her old...acquaintance is heading back to France to become a veterinarian, two of their friends will stay at school to teach the students and that's it.

But why is she really doing this? Why is she making a fool out of herself?

Right. There's a reason. But she can't tell it to her old friend. She can't tell her that she wants to...

"I wanted to see you before you go, one final time," Mikan lied smoothly. Hotaru looked quizically at her but before she can interrogate her friend, Mikan guided her out of the dance floor with grace as if she was a professional and then, her old friend was gone.

"I'm sorry, Hotaru," Mikan said as she went off and find the real person she came for.

"Hey Sumire, I heard that you'll be going to Paris?" Kokoro Yome, one of her old friends, said teasingly. Mikan made sure to protect and made a barrier around herself from the Mind Reader.

"Yeah, but that's just a family thing before we return here, I mean, I want to visit Paris but I still don't want to leave my own country, there's so much nice memories here, its too precious to just leave it behind," Sumire said, maturity is evident from her once snobby voice.

How Mikan wished she was like that, filled with happy memories to the point that she can't leave her country. But, that wasn't the case, actually, it was the reverse, it was too painful that she has to leave...or...there is this other way...

"Wow, but why am I seeing funny memories? And is that me in the black suit?" Koko smiled, and Sumire blushed red before stabbing Koko not so gently.

"If you value memories so much, why don't you stay in our school to teach?" Anna and Nonoko, her old twin like friend of theirs joked. Sumire laughed and sai that she'll consider it.

She missed them, but, she can't show herself to them or it would just reopen old wounds. Besides...she has one top priority in mind.

She has to see him. She has to see him.

'I want to talk to them but I need to find him, I need to,' Koko heard an all too familliar voice that seemed to be broken.

"Mikan is that you?" she heard Koko said and for a second, she felt her barriers loosen before she re-strengthened them. She didn't bother talking to Koko as she ran away.

She ran away just like everytime.

Until she bumped and fall to her back. It was like a rock wall, but anyways, it was still a person. She felt someone offering a hand and she gladly took it but when she looked at the owner of the hand, she found red, ruby eyes and she found herself falling to her butt once again as his grip on her was removed.

Though this time, no one offered a hand to her.

"A little help please," she tried sounding cheerful but then, she wasn't able to hide the nervous feeling she has in her voice.

"Oh, okay, Mikan, is that really you?" he said, Mikan fake pouted then looked at her...friend. But then again, how can she not be offended when he can't even tell who she was. It was a little painful.

Though she can't blame him, after removing all connections and avoiding him for 1 whole year, how can she not be unrecognized? She did changed a little. Okay, she changed a lot.

"Yeah, you liked the new look? Anyways, I'm not here for small chat Natsume," Mikan gulped and clenched her fist before taking the hand of the Flame Alice.

"I want to say something, let's go outside, I need some fresh air," Mikan said, thanking the alcohol for making her a little brave.

Without that, she couldn't have got the courage to face Hotaru, or look at her old friends, and talk to him. No, she can't ne that brave. She was a coward, after all. He was soundless as they walked through the crowd, he didn't spoke a word and Mikan hoped it was a good sign.

But before she could lead him outside, he suddenly paused or stopped at track, his longer messy hair covering his face. He changed a lot from when they were little children, he was a LOT taller and, as she just noticed, his hair is longer and messier.

"I don't think I can talk to you, there's nothing you could say that may change my mind Mikan, I'm leaving, and I chose her, I don't know why you are still doing this but I'll be taking my leave," Natsume said coldly, he then turned away from her.

What? This wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't...no! No!

"Natsume, I won't ask you to choose me, I won't even beg, I just want you to talk to me, bring some sense to me," Mikan pleaded.

Natsume stopped and looked back.

"I don't know what to do, I don't know, my life seemed pointless, please, help me, help me, I know that you don't love me anymore and I won't force myself unlike before but please, just help me, I can't think straight," Mikan asked as she tugged on his sleeve like a little child.

"I don't know...I'm sorry Mikan but, I'm...forget it," Natsume uttered before removing her grip from his clothes and started walking away.

No! No! This wasn't supposed to happen. He has to talk some sense to her and not just leave her.

Suddenly, tears she kept in freely fell, she was finding it hard to breath and then, her vision blurred before...before she collapsed.

It was happening yet again, she was falling fast, and she can't do anything about it as she fell out of consciousness.

People around Mikan started to panic, Natsume's eyes widened as he turned to look back and found his...friend falling to the ground as if her life was sucked out of her.

"Someone call for help," one of the teachers said, people from the Clinical Department came to help her, an ambulance arrived and Ikan disappeared.

And Natsume wasn't able to talk to her.

He was too afraid that he will fall for her again, call him selfish and cruel but he can't help it and risk it, he can't fall for someone who...who killed his sister and his one little kohai. No. He can't.

He can't bring to see her face because he can remember Aoi, here her voice because it was too painful. He may be coward. Yes. A coward, a cruel jerk, whatever.

And he, too was a killer.

He slowly killed her, her soul, her spirit.

He never saw her the next day, and many, many years passed and he didn't got a word from her.

* * *

_Until the day he returned to Japan to attend his father's burial._

_He became a successful lawyer, married the girl he loves, had three children, managed to forget his past and removed all connections he had of the Academy but Ruka, and of course, his own wife. Hotaru Imai. The girl he chose._

_When the burial was over, Hotaru was surprised that one of her children was gone and started to panic like how a normal mother would react. she pulled out her acker and was relieved that she did placed a homing device on her daughter._

_"Rumi! Rumi where are you, you little, oh, there you are," Hotaru said as she used her tracker and sighed when she saw her only daughter unharmed. Her hair was shorter yet again, but she really looked matured._

_"Mom, she's beautiful," Hotaru's red eyed child muttered as she pointed into a small shrine, Hotaru dropped the tracker she held because there..._

_There..._

_"No..." Hotaru muttered in disbelief._

* * *

~End~

* * *

**Yes, Hotaru, Natsume and Mikan are OOC in this story. Aside from that, I know that I placed some twists (Aoi died, etc.) And I'll let you in your imagination.**


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